Valentine’s Day Special Review: Vampire Step-Dad/Love Bites

You can’t imagine my excitement when I got home from work to find a padded envelope sitting on my laptop. Do you know what was inside? My signed and numbered Love Bites cassette tape, oh yeah, and some vampire teeth! Love Bites is the new release by Vampire Step-Dad and it’s got everything you need to sink your teeth into this Valentine’s Day. Not only is the whole package very well done, right down to the blood spatter on the cassette itself, the music is some of the best that synthwave has to offer.

Side One of the cassette is the new Love Bites material. It kicks off with a hilarious commercial for an episode of the fictional Vampire Step-Dad television show. This is far from wasted space because it sets the tone for what’s to come…a journey back to a simpler time. This flows right into The First Date, a love song that Vangelis himself would be envious of. The Skating Rink takes you right to the 1980’s excitement of heading to the meeting place of meeting places. You can almost smell the pizza, old carpet, and hear the arcade games off to the side while the DJ calls out for couples only slow skate. The Promise Ring continues our love story and it does exactly what the title implies. It slowly builds up on the promise of the following tracks at the midpoint of this story we’re now hooked into. The Proposal is majestic, infused with nostalgia, and you can’t help but feel excitement for our young couple. The Cough really ramps things up. Is that a saxophone I hear?!? I can almost see the montage in the Love Bites movie in my head. Things end with The Funeral, a fitting end for our tragic love story. You knew it was going to end this way, and Vampire Step-Dad finishes Love Bites on a fittingly somber tone.


Side Two gets you the complete A Night In The Life Of… released last year. So yes, you’re not only getting new material in Love Bites, you also get more great music basically for free. Remember the skating rink we just visited? Buying Love Bites is like putting your coins into the vending machine and getting TWO bags of chips for the price of one. A Night In The Life Of… is worth the price of admission alone here so I can’t recommend this enough. Better act fast, these cassettes are limited and Vampire Step-Dad is signing and numbering each one that goes out. Don’t fret if you miss out on the physical copy though. Thankfully your new Step-Dad has digital copies of his albums on his Bandcamp page and I promise they’ve got the same amount of bite.

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